Holidays, weddings, and weekdays at 6 PM are all times you might gather with others for a meal at the table. During these special moments of community and fellowship, there is usually a standard of etiquette or table manners you will want to follow. But how does a person learn good etiquette and how to employ it?
Are table manners really important in this modern age of frozen TV dinners and couch trays? Read on to find out why table manners are as crucial now as they were a century ago and how you can start using them daily.
Where Do Table Manners Come From
Societies and cultures worldwide have been using table manners since we started gathering together for meals. In Europe, dining customs date back as far as the 15th century. Places like Greece and Rome adopted some courtesies even earlier.
Usually, the upper class sets the standards and then passes them down through society. Along the way, different rituals are kept and discarded based on importance and practicality. The rules also change from one dining experience to the next, depending on class, religion, region, and meal. Your family may even have traditions of their own.
A Standard of Respect
Sharing a meal with others is a joyous experience. There is so much we can learn from one another across the table. Good manners show other people that you respect them and appreciate their company. There are many ways to prove you respect others when dining together. Here are a few examples.
Cleanliness
Showing up to a meal neat and groomed suggests to other guests that you respect them and yourself. It lets them know you took the time to bathe, dress, and put your best foot forward when spending time with others.
Politeness
Knowing good table manners can help you come across as a polite individual. Others will be more open to engagement if they know they will be received politely. There is room for discussion on important topics while laying boundaries and keeping the space safe for everyone involved.
Awareness
Awareness goes hand-in-hand with politeness. Table manners allow us to stop worrying about how we should react and instead listen to what others are communicating. You will know how to respond appropriately before you even sit down.
Table Manners Can Help You Avoid Embarrassment
Getting caught with your elbows on the table or telling a crass joke can spoil an otherwise fun evening. Knowing proper table manners can help you avoid looking foolish among other guests.
We’ve all run into the invitee that drinks too much during the reception. Although modern customs insist that it’s all in good fun, who isn’t made uncomfortable by this person? A little education goes a long way, and by observing basic courtesy, it’s easier to navigate delicate situations such as these.
Table Manners Support Your Body, Mind, and Spirit
Table manners are not just anecdotal. They serve a practical purpose as well. Using them can help improve your quality of life.
Deeper Connections
Bridging the gap between ourselves and others often starts over a good meal. By engaging in table manners that help put others in the spotlight of our awareness, we can develop deeper connections with our peers. Remember, table manners are an expression of respect, which is at the core of trust.
Establishing Gratitude
By taking the time to appreciate a meal as a sacred part of many rituals and routines, we can establish gratitude for whatever occasion we celebrate.
It’s easy to get lost in the attention-grabbing, flashy merchandise of any holiday or even our daily lives. But manners based on tradition and value help bring us back to the center of our community.
Comfort and Personal Safety
Everything we do in life comes with risks, including eating. Even though eating is something we must do to live, we cannot do it carelessly. That’s why chewing slowly, using good posture, and paying attention to where you stick your knife can help you avoid embarrassing faux pas.
A Few Tips
Table manners can vary based on several factors. This ambiguity can make it difficult to know how to behave at a table if you are unfamiliar with the people or territory. Fortunately, there are a few basic rules you can follow no matter where you are to help you get the hang of things.
- Arrive on time
- Say please and thank you even if you don’t know the language
- Use good body posture
- Remember that nothing belongs on the table but food and the tools to eat it
- Chew slowly
- Listen
- Be gracious and show gratitude
If you know before the meal what type of customs you should research, it’s always best to do so. By arriving with a basic understanding of the culture you have been invited into, you demonstrate a genuine interest in getting to know your hosts.
What is even better, if you have the opportunity to address a guest familiar with the table manners practiced by the hosts, they can be a valuable resource. Individuals raised in certain customs and traditions will be the best teachers. They will know the nuances of adjusting from family to family.
Learning Table Manners
So, are table manners really important? Obviously, they play a massive role in our societies as a whole and individual families. Learning them is essential for understanding the core values of other cultures worldwide. And grandma will be so grateful you did.
The best thing to do is start early and teach table manners to your children. If you don’t know what they are, do some research, or come up with your own. Even a few rules such as no phones at the table or asking to be excused can help teach your children about the importance of mealtimes and proper etiquette.
If you want to take an in-depth look at table manners in your culture, there are plenty of online courses and teachers to learn from. There are even some schools that teach etiquette, and these cover all aspects of daily life.
Final Thoughts
It’s always best to show, not tell. The next time you wonder, “are table manners really important?” observe the people around you. Who would you prefer to sit down with for a meal? Common courtesy can help set you apart as an exemplary host or dinner guest.
